Recently I watched a rough cut of “Cotton Clouds”, a short film written, directed, and edited by Grandin Film Lab student Chloe Shelton. I was there to review color, as they are getting closer to the final cut of the movie. I was very impressed, actually got a little emotional over it. I had gone in thinking that the color and luminance range might be pretty far off since the students have never worked with LOG footage shot from a cinema camera before. However, I was unexpectedly surprised at how good it looked. There were a few things that needed to be corrected, but Chloe had done a great job on her first light color grade.

The reason I got emotional was because watching “Cotton Clouds” was a bright spot in a world of grief I’m in right now after the passing of my Father. It made me feel good in a time when it’s not always so easy to do…a time where I can’t really just “turn that frown upside down”.

The creative process, the collaboration with other like minded artists and crafts people, the feeling of being part of something bigger than myself, using the skills I’ve been blessed with to help others learn, being inspired creatively and coming up with cool shit is amazingly transformative at times…at others, it’s simply just plain fun.

When I went through my second divorce, I was comforted by the idea that I could take refuge in my creative pursuits whether on the job or on my own time. I knew it would be something I could just dive into with abandon, my happy place, my escape route, something that would take my mind off of the real life stress I was going through. What I found was that it didn’t work that way for me at ALL! What actually happened, was every single bit of energy and emotional strength I had, was sucked right out of me so strongly I could hear the whoosh as it left my body. That included my creative energy.

That’s kind of what’s happened with me now, only it’s different this time. My Father’s death was not something I created or was part of. It was not the result of failings or short comings. It was the result of life’s natural course, its natural flow, life’s sense of timing that moves on whether I’m ready for it or not. Something else is different this time also. I was able to feel inspired and feel gratitude for the creative process of life that’s inherent in simply existing.

As I practice my craft as a cinematographer, I get better at it. As I practice living life, I get better at it.

Creativity is still my happy place :)