I want to thank everyone for a great year in 2017…

Um..,wait, no…that just sounds so cliché.

When I think about the past year, I want to say that it was a stream of wonderful successes, creative breakthroughs, financial security, sound judgment, and powerful emotional wellness and mental well being.

If I said that, I’d be lying.

It was more like an acid trip through lost opportunity, wonderful successes, miserable creative stagnation, creative breakthroughs, “how am I going to pay for that”, financial security, “what the fuck was I thinking”, sound judgment, I’m losing my fucking mind, I’m a failure as a father, I have no answers, emotional wellness, self-pity, gratitude  and mental well being.

Believe it or not, I’m grateful for the mixed bag and rich tapestry that makes up my existence today. We all want to live happy lives and never have to deal with any of the nasty bits of being human. There was a time when I thought that was what living life was all about…seeking unfettered happiness, total freedom to do whatever I want, financial security, and material gain. Don’t get it twisted, I want a happy life and some gains, but what I really want is to be content. It wasn’t until I accepted life as it is, in its full spectrum of beauty, peace, risk and pain, that I was able to find some contentment.

I’ve had some personal struggles. My family has had them. We still do. But I also have done what some have suggested and reached out and made connections with other people. Not necessarily people who were experts in professional success, spiritual growth, emotional and mental well being, but people who have been where I’ve been, people who know what it’s like to feel helpless to relieve a family member’s struggles, who know what it’s like to wake up in the morning and immediately want to die…

These are people who have gotten through it, people who have improved their lives, their mental well being, have overcome seemingly impossible tasks, who have not given up and are valued in other people’s lives. These folks have done that, and will do it again. Because I’ve learned to do what they have done, I’ve had some success and have a life for which I’m truly grateful.

I don’t really feel the need to categorize or pigeon whole the people in my life as personal friends, family members, professional colleagues, or peers. I have relationships with all of these people and that’s where the richness comes from. All of these relationships are important.

So, um, wait…actually…

I want to thank everyone for a great year in 2017!